Should you call him on his birthday if he’s been
If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, you’re
certainly not alone.
It goes something like this:
“He stopped calling me – but his birthday is coming up.
I don’t want him to think I’m mad at him for not calling
me! It’s the right thing to do – to call him on his birthday –
Lots of women wonder not only about calling a man, but about
sending him a card or a gift if he’s not even in contact with
If they instinctively know that a phone call is over the top,
they might think, “What the heck, I’ll just send him a casual
‘I wasn’t really thinking that much about you but happy b-d,
you schmuck’ text message.”
But that’s the same thing as calling! It gives him the exact
same message. He’s on your mind – even though he’s been
So you’re pining away for him, and he’s not pining away for
you – which is definitely not the formula for romance!
Since this man has completely stopped calling
you, do not call him, birthday or no birthday. He will call you
if he wants to.
“Let’s put it this way – if you really don’t want him back at
all, and would not go back with him even if he begged you, then
calling him as a friend is really no problem. But if you still
care for him romantically, don’t call him.
“When we call the man in question with a ‘reason’ to see him,
that reason can be an excuse to get in touch with him – and
birthdays are indeed hard to ignore.
“After all, we don’t want him to think we forgot his birthday –
we don’t want him to wonder if we’re mad – what if he is
expecting a gift from us – or – we just want to make that
nice gesture of treating him on his birthday.
“No, no, no. All of the above are how women think when it
comes to birthdays – not how men think if they have already
called it quits with us!
“I’ve been there and so have you, most likely. Birthdays!
When you really like a guy, you want to make a big deal of
his birthday. It’s our natural response as women!
“‘But what if he thinks I’m mad for not saying something to
him about his birthday?’ many women wonder.
“Trust me, because he is not thinking that, I promise you. And
if for any reason he was thinking that you’re mad – it’s good.
Let him spend his time thinking about whether or not you like
him! That’s what happens when a man is really crazy about a
“No man ever left a woman because she ignored HIS birthday – if
anything, it can have the exact opposite effect. It sends him
the strong message that YOU got HIS message – when he stopped
contacting you. And like a person with healthy self-esteem,
you moved on!
“Here’s the truth – the guy is not expecting you to honor his
birthday. Not at all. Not when he knows that he is not pursuing
you. If you do honor his birthday, you are walking into a trap
of your own making.”
More next time from this chapter on NOT calling him on his
Excerpt from Mimi Tanner